Famous and not so Famous Quotes...

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that
comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now 
and then to make sure it's still there.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good 
he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.......
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and 
put it back in your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

There are three kinds of men. 
The one that learns by reading. 
The few who learn by observation. 
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

A Collection Of Quotations - Some of Which Come From Someone’s Mom:

The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

Every man has a scheme that will not work.
Never negotiate with anyone who has less authority than you.

A clear conscience never fixed anything.

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.

Only the dead get a full pardon.

If you lay down with hounds, you're gonna get up with fleas.

A compliment is sometimes better than the truth.

A bore is a person who deprives you of solitude without providing you company.

Those who do not understand their mistakes are 
condemned to repeat them.

Behold the turtle who makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.

Never try to teach a pig to sing; 
it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

An alcoholic is somebody you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

Happiness is a highway, not a destination.

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

Pain hurts.

The secret of growing old is having lots of 
experience you can no longer use.

The real enjoyment of fine wine is in knowing when you have had enough.

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to 
too many optimists.

An optimist is a person who never had much experience.

Denial is more than just a river in Egypt.

If it ain't broke,  don't fix it.

Logic is any line of reasoning that proves you are right.

If you ain't  the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

It is better to be approximately right than precisely wrong.

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

Life is like pedaling a bicycle; you won't fall off unless you stop pedaling.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Yield to temptation----it may not pass your way again.

May I always be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

Justice is when the decision is in your favor.

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.

Never give a party if you will be the 
most interesting person there.

The key to failure is trying to please everybody.

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway 
is usually a poor judge of distance.

If you want a place in the sun, you've got to expect a few blisters.

Old age comes at a bad time.

Experience is what you get when you didn't 
get what you wanted.

You can't fool all the people all the time, 
you need only a majority.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I see
 I should have been more specific.

I have no time for patience.

Opportunity may knock only once, 
but temptation leans on the doorbell.

Mistakes are the price we pay for living a full life.

TVs need a knob to turn up the intelligence; 
the one marked brightness doesn't work.

Love is like a mushroom. You never know if 
it's the real thing until it's too late.

Don't mistake personality for character.

I've learned that it's easier to stay out of trouble 
than to get out of trouble.

Compromise is the art of dividing a cake so that everybody believes that he or she got the biggest piece.

It is harder to conceal ignorance than to acquire knowledge.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.

A sure sign of bureaucracy is when the first person who answers the phone can't help you.

Morality, like art, consists of drawing the line somewhere.

Swallowing angry words is much easier than 
having to eat them.

Beware of the man who knows the answer before he understands the question.

It is those who have tried it most frequently
 who are convinced that marriage is a failure.

Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.

Middle age is when you have a choice of two temptations 
and choose the one that will get you home earlier.

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

If you get caught with your pants down, 
pull'em up, and lie about it.

Too many people are ready to carry the stool 
when the piano needs to be moved.

You can't make a long jump without 
getting sand in your shorts.

Broadmindedness enables you to see both sides of a problem------- but not necessarily the solution.

A monkey in silk clothing is still a monkey.

We are all of the same clay, but a jug is not a vase.

Absolute certainty is the greatest illusion of all.

If at first you don't succeed, 
you're running about average.

Ignorance is no excuse----it's the real thing.

Procrastination gives you something to look forward to.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Nothing is so good as it seems beforehand.

Knowledge is power.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing 
what people say you cannot do.

Variety is the soul of pleasure.

Imagination is a poor substitute for experience.

That which is bitter to endure may be sweet to remember.

There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.

Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.

Hunger is not debatable.

Some people pay a compliment like they expected a receipt.

Idleness is the one fault that we excuse most easily.

You only live once---but if you work it right, once is enough.

Love is like a cigar. If it goes out,
you can light it again but it 
never tastes quite the same.

Every pancake has two sides.

Beauty without grace is the hook without bait.

A woman is like a teabag----you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.

I soupport publik edjukashun.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

If you shoot for the moon and miss, you're 
still among the stars.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to 
wear really tight shoes.


You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' 



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